In Mexico, Down Past the Rio Grande
by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
Song Version:
1— In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand;
Now they lie lost in a foreign land —
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poems in the desert’s brew too.
They now sleep in sandstorms that blew.
With each new windstorm sands accrue,
So adios muse babies, goodbye and adieu!
2— You lie in the land where I was born and grew,
There in LeBaron, the home I once knew.
I couldn’t find you when I fled then flew.
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
Buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled,
‘Cause all I’d believed had to be shed,
And I had to flee ensuing bloodshed.
3— But part of me’s still in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground;
But I can’t go back, can’t traverse the Rio Grande –
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side,
But so many lonely rivers I’ve cried;
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
4- Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go;
Yet part of me lies there in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron land,
I wonder, is half my heart buried there,
In Mexico down past the Rio Grande?
NOTE: The Following Are Earlier Versions of above Poem:
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand.
Now they lie lost in a foreign land –
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poems in the desert’s brew too.
They now sleep in sandstorms that blew.
With each new windstorm sands accrue;
So adios muse babies, goodbye and adieu!
You lie in the land where I was born and grew –
There in LeBaron, the home I once knew;
I couldn’t find you when I fled then flew,
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
It’s buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled,
Knowing all I’d believed in had to be shed;
And I had to flee ensuing bloodshed.
Still I long for my friends and family too
Who couldn’t see things from my point of view;
Nor would they allow me my own voice –
They didn’t respect my freedom of choice.
Now in an abyss I traverse this earth,
Looking for meaning to renew my life’s worth;
Looking for Mother’s long-gone mirth,
Though she now sleeps in Mexican Earth.
So part of me’s buried in Mexico –
The part I lost when I left long ago.
It’s back where my heart lies buried alive,
Back where my past took a nose dive.
Perhaps it’s lying in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground;
But I can’t go back — can’t traverse the Rio Grande.
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side,
But so many lonely rivers I’ve cried;
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go.
Still part of me lies there in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron land,
I wonder if half my heart’s buried there
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande.
*NOTE:
Above poem is result of major surgery on original poem –
I cut out over half its verses.
Though painful,
the surgery was successful.
Below is a less abridged version:
In Mexico, Down Past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand.
Now they lie lost in a foreign land –
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poetry in the desert’s brew too.
It’s now lost in sandstorms that blew.
With each windstorm, more sands accrue,
So adios muse babies, goodbye and adieu!
You lie where I was born and grew,
There in LeBaron, the home I once knew.
I couldn’t find you when I fled then flew;
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
Slowly the tears trickle two by two
Down my cheekbones like drops of dew,
Ever homesick but can’t ties renew.
Adios to my past — adios and adieu.
When will my loneliness ever end?
When will this pain fade away, my friend?
Where are my Journals and the poems I penned,
Then buried deep to protect them back then?
They’re buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled
‘Cause all I’d believed in had to be shed;
And I had to flee approaching bloodshed.
Now I long for family and my friends too
Who couldn’t see things from my point of view;
Nor would they allow me my own voice –
They didn’t respect my freedom of choice.
Still I long for my life that was torn in two –
The parts that split when I fled and flew
So I could find life in the US anew,
Follow my dreams and hopes renew.
Now in an abyss I traverse the earth
Looking for meaning to renew life’s worth;
Looking for Mother’s long-gone mirth
Though she now sleeps in Mexican earth.
No sooner did I find life and rebirth
Than along came the ravages of aging’s dearth
Bouncing and banging at my backdoor,
Backing me downhill more and more.
But part of me died many years ago,
That part I lost when I fled Mexico.
It’s back where my heart lies buried alive,
Back where my past took a nose dive.
Part of my heart’s in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground.
But I can’t go back, can’t traverse the Rio Grande.
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side,
Yet so many lonely rivers I have cried.
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go.
Still part of me’s buried in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Part of me’s there though put to the test,
Back where many old memories rest;
Part’s with my past and part’s here with me,
Longing for home, where’er home may be.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron Land.
I wonder, is half my heart buried there,
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande?
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